i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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