Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
