you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
