Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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