Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
