He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
