I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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