HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
