Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
