I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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