Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
