I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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