I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
