and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
