The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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