ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
