We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
