she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
