i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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