So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
