Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so let's talk penis.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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