We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
