Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
