dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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