it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just had sex on a roof
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
