IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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