were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
