Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
