Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
