flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
