I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
