I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
