the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
