i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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