Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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