I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
