end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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