wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
