Whats the glycemic index on semen?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
