This house was built for laser tag.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
