Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
