Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
