the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
