That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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