TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i think i have two assholes
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
