apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
