My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
