just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
