don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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