she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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