the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
