I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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