belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
