He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
